Monday, November 29, 2010

Where Do I Go From Here?

Right now I'm stuck, asking myself, "Where do I go from here?" Dropping the english class I was taking through Ivy Tech was not my plan a few weeks ago. Then, I had the mentality that I had to push myself to doing the work, the research and all for the paper I would be writing, but never followed through with acting upon it. Last night I came to the point where I had to write 2 drafts of a research and argument paper that was due today, I was having trouble starting it. So I gave into the choice of dropping it, and walking away from this class, well aware that I would fail. There was nothing I could do at that point. I look at it, seeing that I no one to blame but myself. There showed to be a lack of discipline and time management, with some laziness mixed in. So with that as evidence, I know I can only point the finger at myself. Those components that hurt me in highschool, stuck with through the attempt of taking this college level writing class, which have led me to fail. Ha! Then there is this fear of what people, particularly friends, will say or think when they read this post or when I tell them. There will be quite a bit of disappointment for sure.
There's also that question that I ask myself, "Where do I go from here?" I know for certain that the Lord is calling me out to the mission field to go preach to the gospel to the unreached , particularly to the muslims (unless He calls me elsewhere). I had the rough plan of taking a few classes at Crossroads, then Lord-willing go to Moody by the Fall '11 semester. Yet how can I do so if I couldn't even follow through all the way with the english class? How could it be possible that I bust out a semester at Crossroads and go onto Moody if I failed at this english class? I just wouldn't work out. There definitely needs to be a practice of discipline, time management, and the putting off of laziness and selfishness. I know the Lord will bring me to the mission field, but I know I have to do my part and work my tail off! I'm pretty sure that He's not saying, "Just sit back and relax, I'll get you through it." No! I know that He wants me to work like crazy!
As a christian I am to discipline myself in all aspects of the faith, like discipline in holiness, godliness, prayer, reading and studying the scriptures, and evangelism just to name a handful. How much more should I discipline myself with keeping my body healthy, managing my time day by day, and with my education. Discipline in the faith is crucial to the christian. Without, I believe, that there will be little growth, and open doors for sin to sneek in and attack.
So be praying for me my friends, my brothers and sisters; that I will practice discipline in every area of my life, especially in the faith. Also that the Lord will give me guidance and direction on where to go from here.

Thanks for reading. Keep chasing after Christ!

~Joshua A. Taylor

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Foolishness & Weakness of God.......?

Yesterday I shared a verse through a text to about 8 to 10 people. Something I do every now and again to encourage my friends and fellow saints in the faith. The verse I shared was 1 Corinthians 1:25 which says- "For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." Now that is insane to think about! When I first read that verse, I didn't understand it, but even despite my lack of understanding of it still made my heart miss a beat. Now that I understand it though it just messes me up for a couple minutes after reading it. Think about it this way: The world's most smartest man's intellectual and wisdom-filled mind doesn't even come close to comparing to the "foolishness" of God, and the world's most powerful man's strength and power doesn't even come close to the "weakness" of God! Doesn't that just blow your mind!?
To me this verse is the most impactful verse that displays man's lowly, weak, wretched, and imperfect state, and God's infinitely righteous, holy, pure, and perfect state. Chapters 1-3 in Romans Paul goes in depth in displaying man's sinful, wretched, and imperfect. For example verses 29 to 31 in chapter 1 lists some of the fruit of man's sinful nature: "They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. This is only one of the few times the Paul lists of these fruits of our sinful nature through the epistles that he's written. Then take Romans 3 for example that states clearly that "None is righteous, no not one; no one understands; no seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one (verses 10-12 in chapter 3).
The Old Testament also shows the comparison between imperfect, finite man and perfect infinite God. "for no one living is righteous before You." (Psalm 1432b). There's one verse for ya!
Take Moses's encounter with God on Mount Sinai in Exodus 33:12-23. The Lord allows Moses to see His back, but not His face, "But you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live." (vs. 20). Then we have Isaiah who says in Isaiah 6:5, "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!"
So as you can see the Bible is filled with stories like these. A sinful, wretched man cannot see the Lord and live. See that contrast between us and God!? Think about what happens though, when 1 Cor 1:25 collides with the Gospel! Wretched sinners who deserve hell for eternity, namely the wrath of God almighty, actually receive His grace and mercy through the blood of Christ! This is how God, the Father showed His infinitely great love toward us! Christ took our place on the cross, bearing our sins, and drinking the cup of the wrath of God. This was done so that we may be forgiven, and be reconciled to God. We don't deserve heaven, nor do we deserve to seek after Him in His Word, and in prayer. We only deserve hell for eternity! So here, in the gospel, we see God's great love displayed. Think about His love! Oh what a marvelous love! Here's how I can put His unfathomable love on display see: My love for my friends and family is like hatred compared to God's love for them! Wow!
There we have it! God's character and attributes are unfathomable compared to ours! We don't even come close actually! We not even close to be on the chart! From 1 Cor 1:25 I went stemmed it to many different directions. I challenge to to meditate upon that verse throughout the rest of the day. You might be like me, of how every time I read it I stop breathing for a second or 2, or my heart misses a beat, or....I get twitchy for a couple minutes. May every time we read 1 Corinthians 1:25 make us tremble in fear before the Lord, our God!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Dear X (You Don't Own Me) -From Slaves to sin to Slaves to Christ!

A while back I met up with a good friend to catch up. We had a good time with good discussion about a number of things. No sure how it came about, but we started to talk about slavery in the context of biblical times, and transitioned over to how we were once slaves to sin, but now are slaves to Christ.
This is something that I have recently been thinking about, and rejoicing over. I thank the Christian hard rock band Disciple for this! Their current single "Dear X (You Don't Own Me)" for their latest album talks about this very thing of going form being slaves to sin to being slaves to Christ.
The 1st verse I don't believe is relevant to the message the song is getting across. It talks about how were enslaved to shame and pain, which are effects of sin which we still experience to this day, but I don't believe the Bible talks about being slave to those things. Though there is the simple truth that even though we now belong to Christ, we will still experience the effects like pain, sorrow, and shame among others, till the day we die. This is what the 1st verse of song reminds me of, even though it's irrelavant to what the song is talking about.
The 2nd verse though hits home.It talk about hate and anger. Ha there we go! Both anger and hate go hand in hand in with the 6th commandment , you shall not murder. How? Well rember Jesus' word in Matthew 5. "You have heard it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement; whoever insults his brother will be liable to council; and whoever says,'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. (Matthew 5:22). To me personally, anger was one of the big sins that owned me. I was selfish in my anger; wanting this or that, or wanting things to go my way. Yet, thankfully I am no longer a slave to anger, and to all the other sins the I was enslaved to.
The prechorus is short, yet rings true. "I've let you go, but you're still chasing!" The scripture that comes to mind is Genesis 4:7, which says, "And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. It's desire is for you, but you must rule over it." So there is that truth that sin is still there. Just because we are no longer enslaved to sin, and now God's chosen, doesn't mean the sin can't touch us. It's not like once we become converted, we instantly become perfectly holy and righteous, with out sin. 1 John 1:8 makes it clear, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
Let me make it clear that even though we will still be sinning until the day we die, doesn't mean that we should be sinning of our own will. 1 john talks about this, in how if we keep on sinning then we don't abide in Him; and are of the devil (1 john 3:6; 8). This is what Paul says later in chapter 7, vs 24 of Romans "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death!" Of course that answer is Christ. Paul longs to be ridden of sin for good, as do all believers! Son until the Lord calls us home, or retuns to take His bride away; we'll still be at war against sin. In the words of a reformed rapper, "I aint gonna lie, I'll still be sinning until the day I die, but I'm also fighting like a titan trying to stay alive!"
Then there's the chorus. "Gonna ahead but you're never take me/You can bend, but you're never gonna break me/ I was yours, but I'm not yours anymore/Oh, you don't own me" This is pretty much God's chosen saying to sin, in the face go ahead try to take me back! Go ahead give it all you got! Yea, I may fall into your traps, but you don't own me anymore! I've been bough with a price, by the blood of Christ! I bleong to Him now!
Finally the bridge comes saying, "You're tempting me to look back, but everything we had together was a lie!" So true! Right!? Our relationship that we had with sin was nothing but a lie. It would only end us up in hell for eternity; drinking the cup of God's divine wrath forever and ever! Thanks be to God that by the death and resurrection of Christ we have been transferred from the domain of darkness to the kingdom of His beloved Son (Colossians 1:13. No longer having that relationship with sin that leads to death, but now have that relationship with Christ that leads to life! From being slaves to sin to being slave to righteousness. We are not our own, we have been brought with a price. That price was that in love Christ took our place on the cross, bearing our sin, taking the wrath of God that was reserved for us; then after being in the tomb for 3 days, resurrected defeating sin! In response we have given our live to Him. Dying to ourselves, to be found alive in Christ! To Him who has delivered us from the bondage of sin, be honor, majesty, and glory forever amen!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

To Magnify & Exalt Christ

It's day 4 after surgery, and I seem to be making unexpected progress in recovering. The pain has diminished, but still can blindside me on rare occasions. Then the discomfort is still there, but it's presence isn't as strong as it was from the beginning. I'm still unable to talk, or least I still shouldn't talk. So ny vocalizing has been at a minimum. All in all I'm feeling not too bad right now. Day by day I get better. God is good,and continues to display His steadfast love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15)
So I am without a doubt eager to get talking so I can know how much my voice has changed. I still ask the question:Will it be loud and clear? The day is drawing near when I will no for sure. Just thinking about rounding up a band, if my vocal are astounding, to tour the world a share the gospel is very convincing. Yet I know that that is not what God has for me. He's calling me out to the mission field to share the gospel with the unreached. So let me get to the point here. Regardless of how it all conclude, you know with my voice and all, I want to display the lovely and glorious name of Christ. May the Christ be magnified and exalted in all His glory through it all!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The End I'll Never See

About this time a year ago I was stepping out into the unknown. That is I was unsure about what I would accomplish by taking a year off of school. Quite uncertain of where God was gonna take me, what He would show me, and what He would teach me. As I recall my original plan was to go to Crossroads Bible College to study theology; yet God, over time changed that. I never really did see myself becoming, or more so becoming a missionary, yet alas that what God has laid on my mind and heart. Now I just have yet to get there, to get to the people group wants me to preach the gospel to. For sometime the people of Somalia have been on my heart ever since I heard of situation they're dealing with in their country, their bitterness & hostility to Christianity, and hard hearts towards Christ (I guess it's safe to say). Who knows though, whether the Somalis or some other unreached people group; I want obey the Lord.

God has also taught me a lot about myself during me year off. One thing is pride. I now see pride as a serious deal due to the awakening I had of how pride has sneaked it's way in many areas of my life, especially through evangelism. Pride did hidden work among my evangelistic lifestyle to gradually give me a prideful heart and even a judgmental mindset. I was thinking of myself more highly than I ought (which Paul says in Romans 12 that we shouldn't). Looking down on other whether they were Christian or not,and putting myself a step higher then them (which in reality I am just like them, a sinner). Yet, God revealed my pride to me, one night, and I became sick of what I saw, so I without hesitation, repented. Do I still deal with pride? Yes! I do on a regular basis. I'm always sure to be on guard against it, because I know it can blindside me at any moment! Lord fill my heart with humility!

God has also revealed to me that idolatry is a big deal as well. He has shown me idols in my life that never really look at as idols. Like, people for an example. Yes, I love my friends, but there's a fine line between love and obsession. I'm not saying that I have made any of my friends to be an obsession in my life, but I will be honest to say that worry & concern, trying to be on good terms, gaining approval, etc. has dominated quite a few days of my life. It sure hard to have Christlike, godly relationships with others, and I would have to say that it'll take a lifetime. I would never have the perfect Christ-like, and godly relationship with a friend, but it's something spending a lifetime working on. God, sure has revealed quite a few other idols in m life, and He continues to. Idolatry is another sin that I need to be on guard against daily. Lord rid my heart of all idols, for my heart is yours to own!

The Church, the body of Christ is beautiful beyond my understanding, cause it was founded by Christ, the Cornerstone. God has displayed to me time and time again it's beauty that it beholds. Through times of praise & prayer, fellowship, unity, love, unifying passion & desire etc. God has captivate my heart by the beauty of His people! Yes, we aren't all lovey dovey toward one another, yes there may be disagreements, and little disputes like the one Paul and Barnabas had over John Mark, but all in all we're one body bound by the blood of Christ abiding. Pressing on together towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14). The Gates of hell shall not prevail against us. For who dare come against us; for we are His!

These are a few things that have stuck out during my year off, and I assure you that God has taught me a lot more about myself and Him, about Christ,and about living a life worthy of Christ! I feel like I've grown quite a bit, that I've grown closer my Savior & God, but yet I still have much more to learn and much farther to go! I still not anywhere near to being like Christ, but He still conform me to the image of His son day by day. I move on one day at a time, continuing to trust in Him, and looking to Him. My Savior & God.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Fishing For Men 5/28-30 (Indy 500 Weekend)

This past weekend, Indy 500 weekend, has proved to be a fruitful yet tiring weekend of witnessing. Talk about being lights in the darkness; 5 of us went out Friday night, and we saw Satan at work there. Despite that, we all had a great night. I went with Joel and we had a good handful of conversations. I can't remember all the conversations we had, but here are those that I do.

Our first conversation was with two ladies and a guy. We started the conversation with the 5 dollar challenge (which is what we normally do), but they weren't able to pass the challenge, so we gave them the good person test (basically going through the Ten commandments). Of course they failed the test. Pretty much from there we went ahead to share the gospel. One of the 2 ladies and the guy pretty much lost interest, but the other lady (who's name was Amanda) was really interested & intent in listening. I love it when we have people like Amanda who is interested and receptive in hearing about the gospel. I'm reminded about how it wasn't anything that me or Joel said or did to catch her attention, but it was all God working in her heart. Please pray for Amanda, that God will convict her heart concerning sin, righteousness, and judgement. That she will she her need for the Savior and cry out to God to save her. Pray that God will save her. Also pray that God will save her 2 friends; the other 2 we talked to as well, but ended up walking away.

Another conversation we had was with 5 young African Americans who were obviously in the area for one reason, the ladies. We did have a several distractions the conversation, but we were able to go through the law, and the gospel. One of the guys said that he does go to church every so often, but of course we knew that wouldn't mean he is born again. Overall it was a good conversation. Pray for the young guys, that God will work a miracle in the hearts and lives, and save them.

One conversation we had was with 2 young guys (Nick and Ivan...I think) and a young lady (Jadie) on a small bridge. We started out with the 5 dollar challenge, in which Jadie was determined to win haha. They got close, but missed two of the commandments. From there we took them through several of the commandments, and went through the gospel. This was another great conversation that we were able to by the grace of God.

Saturday we were scattered throughout the route of the Indy 500 parade to pass out tracts. Despite having problems of parking before and getting to my car afterwards, I had a good time passing out tracts along with my brother in Christ Ryan. We passed out probably a good 300-400 tracts to those sitting waiting for the parade to pass through. We then ran into another brother, Rusty, who was having a conversation with an evangelical pastor who didn't agree with the law in evangelism. It was good to be able to pass out tracts to those at the parade.

Then Sunday morning, Me , Mike, and Joel went parked about 30-45 minutes from the Southeast gate, made the 30 minute trek to our destination to pass out tracts to those going to the race. We stood out in the piping-hot sun for a good 4 hours passing out tracts, and were able to get out a good box and a half out. The things we do for the sake of Christ and the gospel =)

Overall it was a great weekend of evangelism. Our prayer is that God will convict hearts concerning sin, righteousness, and judgment, change live, and save souls! We know that we did not labor in vain. We were faithful & obedient to the call of reaching a lost and dying world with the gospel of Christ. We trust God with the rest. Pray that God will save those of who we spoke to, and handed out tracts to. Hosanna! Save o Lord!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Fishing For Men 4/30

I have decided to blog about my witnessing stories, so I will start with last night.

I partnered with Joel as we went out around monument circle downtown, looking for people to talk to. It wasn't long until I spotted a young man sitting on the steps of one side of the monument reading his Bible; more specifically reading the book of Jude. So I went up to him (Matt was his name), and struck up a conversation, to get to know him a little. We talked some about evangelism, and I gave him a "Hell's Best Kept Secret" by Ray Comfort. Joel then invited him to join us for the next conversation, which happened to be with about 7 or so highschool girls dressed up for prom. We went through the law, shared about judgement, the cross, and repentance. Most of the girls were giggly throughout the whole conversation, but Joel and Matt noticed that the girl on the far right was really intent & listening. Over all it was a good conversation, and we know that God had planted some seeds in those girls. Afterwards me, Joel, and Matt prayed for those girls, Joel gave Matt his number, then Matt parted ways.

A little later me and Joel got into a conversation with 3 young ladies (IUPUI students). We took them through the good person test (the law, but we soon got a bit of a debate. Two of the girls were atheists, and one said she believes that there is a God, but also said that she wasn't into the Christian faith. The girl in the middle said that science supports evolution and asked us to give her evidence that science supports creation and prove that there is a God. Joel gave the building and builder analogy, and I gave the example of the human body and how complex it is, but she didn't buy it and stuck with what she believed. Before the girls left I gave the one in the middle "One Heartbeat Away" by Mark Cahill. I wrote my name and email address in the back so just in case she did read the whole thing; she could email me any questions or thoughts she had on the book. I thought that it was a good conversation despite their mockery of God & the Bible. I pray that these girls will come to see the truth, and that God will convict them of their sin, and that they will turn from their sin and place their trust in Christ. Pray that God will save them.

The last conversation was hardly a conversation at all. Me and Joel were sitting down waiting for his younger brother to done with a conversation so we could head out. I noticed 2 teenagers ( a guy and a girl) sitting on the steps not far from us. So I decided to go up to them, hand them a tract each, and hopefully start a conversation. So I went up to them and asked "Get you two get you first million?" They didn't understand me, but the girl with a serious look on her face replied, "I'm a satanist." That shocked me to be honest, cause when going out witnessing we always run into atheist, muslims, Jehohvah's witnesses, etc. This was my first time running into a satanist. "How does that work?", I said to myself out loud, Joel over at this point after seeing my odd expression. "I worship satan, it's like Christianity but backwards. God is satan , and satan is God." ( at this point her friend got up and left). I didn't really know how to respond, but Joel took the reigns and begin to take her through the law. After getting through a couple, she looked around and noticed that her friend left, then she got up and left in search for him. I can't remember if she took the tract or not, but please pray that God will convict her heart sin, and that she'll come to know Christ. May God save her.

Those last two encounters left me just broken for the lost, more compelled than ever to reach a lost and dying with the gospel of Jesus. So that they may hear and be saved. May the truth and power of the God draw them close to Him, and save them.

scripture that I am reminded of:

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of unbelievers, to keep the, from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.--2 Corinthians 4:4

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.--2 Corinthians 5:20

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Liberia '10

Liberia; such a beautiful country. God's divine splendor and beauty is displayed for all to see in this beautiful land that was founded by freed-slaves. I was excited that God had given me the oppurtunity to go to Monrovia , Liberia to see how God is working in the lives of the Liberian believers, and serve with humility & compassion. Liberia of course is different from the U.S., as just about every other country in the world in some sort of way. So of course it's difference is what kinda struck me, and was something I had to get use to over my time of being there. Some of these differences were language-they speak english, but their accent (I guess you could say) made it difficult to understand them. Gosh.....I could go on & on about stories of things I've seen, and learned, but there's one thing that really mattered to me in regards to the Liberian. That one things that they know of the the one true God who created them, who deserves honor & praise. Liberia from my own understand has been reached with the Gospel. Though they've been reached, there are still, just like other reached nations, people who haven't heard the Gospel. There are those who don't know Christ as their Lord & Savior. Not to mention there are those who call themselves Christians, who go to Liberia to share a completely different message then the Gospel of Jesus. They go raising up followers to believe in the junk & lies that they give them.
So I know that there is a need for faithful saints to go a bring the truth to those in Liberia who are lost, and have yet to be found; also to those who have been believing the lies of false teachers. May they come to know Christ, and worship the one true God who created them!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

All Consuming Passion

This past Friday night of fishing for men was a fruitful one. God blessed us with some good conversations. Regardless of the fact that there were only 3 of us. Our first conversation was with three B-boys (breakdancers). They showed us some of theirs moves, and gave us a break down on dancing.....break dancing that is. So we said that dancing is their passion, pretty much, and they pretty much assured us that it is. We then proceeded to share the Gospel with them, and they listened intently for the most part. We pretty much shared with them our passion; which is Christ, the Gospel. It was a fun and good conversation at the same time!
Yet it got me thinking about something. As a Child of God I can boldly say that He is my passion. Christ & the Gospel are my passion. It's hard to go a day without thinking about Him; and I don't ever want to. I thank God for saving me, and in response to His phenomenal act of saving grace I try hard every day to live, fight, and die for and with this Passion.
He has given me some gifts too, gifts that I don't deserve, gifts I can use to share my All consuming passion, and glorify & honor my Father who saved me from Himself, for Himself, and by Himself.
I could easily say that these gifts; like writing & music for example are God given passion, but no. Now I consider these gifts that I can use to glorify God, and share His glorious mesage of redemption to the lost. So it is now my prayer that God will give me wisdom on how to use these gifts that's He's given me to do just that; to use them for my all consuming passion, which is Christ, and Him crucified!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I'm a lying, thieving, murderous, adulterous, rebellious, blaspheming, idolater; and I don't deserve to be breathing the very breath I breathe right at this moment. I deserve nothing but God's wrath, I deserve nothing but to be cast into hell for breaking God's divine law. And God being a just judge would have to see to it that justice is served. Though He is also loving, and forgiving. And the way He displayed His phenomenal love towards me and still be just, seeing that justice is served is by sending His Son, Christ Jesus to take the punishment that I deserved. Christ was beaten, scourged, mocked, forced to carry His cross to the place of execution, and nailed to it. For my sin and the sins of the whole world were placed on Jesus ( "For our sake He made Him who new no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God'--2 Corinthians 5:21. ). Ultimately the Father's wrath was poured out on Him, so that I may be able enter into a relationship with the Father, and spend eternity with Him for time everlasting!
Now I have trusted Him, and continue to trust Him with my life, and I repent from my life of chasing after sin, and my own selfish desires to follow Christ down this narrow road no matter what the cost. Dying to self, taking up my cross daily. "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count EVERYTHING as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
I will see to it that those who haven't heard this good news, from near and afar will hear, that they may come to know Him, that they too may become God's children. Nothing can hinder me from doing so; whether it be persecution, famine, sword, NOTHING! They can pluck out my eyes, cut out my tongue, burn me alive, hang me, shoot me up, behead me, but even in my death may the Gospel of Christ reach the ears that haven't heard! I will keep pressing on, with my eyes fixed on Him seated high above the heavens!
May God my Father be glorified in my this life that is not my own! May He be praised among every tribe nation, and tongue! One day I will be join with my brothers and sisters standing before Him who seated on His throne to worship and praise Him from everlasting to everlasting. But until that day comes I must keep running the race, and keep fighting the good fight! For I am unashamed of Christ and the Gospel!

Monday, January 4, 2010

I Weep Over My Sin

"Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself prayed thus: 'God I thanks you that I'm not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift his eyes to heaven, but he beat his breast saying,'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' -- Luke 16:9-14

I must be completely honest here. Every time after I fall into sin, a great overwhelming feeling of grief and brokeness cover me. Why? Cause I have sinned against the One True God, the creator of the universe, my Father! Just the thought of what I've done, whether it was a little lie or having lustful thoughts towards a woman, or using His name flippantly, or whatever will make me put my head in my hands, to my knees, weeping, begging God to forgive me for doing such a wretched thing.
When you weep over your sin that sure sign that you are truly in the faith, that you are a true Christian. Though if you recognizably sin, yet dismiss it saying to yourself "Oh I need to make sure I don't do that again", or something like that then I suggest you read through 1 John to test yourself and see that your in the faith. If you truly are saved then you will hate sin to the point that whenever you fall into sin, you are broken and grieve over it.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."-- Matthew 5:4