Will I Stay or Go?

Paul Washer, founder of Heart Missionary Society and preacher has said this about missions:



You are either called to go down into the well

Or hold the ropoe for those who go down

Either way there will be scars on your hands



Back in October last year, I had an invasive surgery on my vocals chords in hope that it will improve my voice. Thankfully it did, but not as much as I dreamed it would. My voice is now different from what is was before the surgery back in October, namely it is more understandable than it was before. The result was that family friends , coworkers, and anybody else who was around me during a weekly basis could notice the improvement. Despite this it still is quite rough still, and not the best it could be. Yet I know that if the Lord, He can heal my voice completely in blink of an eye.

I say this because a couple days ago one of my best friends told me that my voice is the only thing that is hindering me from being sent out into the mission field, at least what I desire to do out in to mission field which is evangelism/church planting. For about 4 years I've had a burning passion to go and preach the gospel to the lost, to proclaim Christ to those who haven't heard. There have been long nigths of prayer for the lost and unreached, and plenty of tears shed for their sake. My heart achces for them!

Yet, for my friend to tell to consider staying and sending others to go instead of me going myself as a missionary, due to my compromised voice, was a blow to me at first. Now to be sure I wasn't enraged at my best friend, but I was....confused. Certainly he knows how strong my passion is for the proclomation of Christ and the gospel, and my heart for the lost & unreached. Though I after a couple times of hearing the same thing he just told me, it did hit me; "My voice is pretty compromised.......what if that is the Lord calling me to to stay, and be the one who holds the rope for the one who goes down into the well?" Now this is something I will probably struggle with for a while.

My heart is set on being a missionary, the one who goes down into the well; that is what I will continue to pursue, despite what my friend told me to consider. I do appreciate his advice and suggestions, and I always will, cause I love my dear friend. I am also well aware that both sending and going are equally important, and there will be scars on my hands either way. Nonetheless I will pursue being a missionary despite my compromised voice. At the end of the day I want the Lord's will to be done not my own. So whether I stay or go, may His will be done and may He be given all the praise and glory!