Right now I'm stuck, asking myself, "Where do I go from here?" Dropping the english class I was taking through Ivy Tech was not my plan a few weeks ago. Then, I had the mentality that I had to push myself to doing the work, the research and all for the paper I would be writing, but never followed through with acting upon it. Last night I came to the point where I had to write 2 drafts of a research and argument paper that was due today, I was having trouble starting it. So I gave into the choice of dropping it, and walking away from this class, well aware that I would fail. There was nothing I could do at that point. I look at it, seeing that I no one to blame but myself. There showed to be a lack of discipline and time management, with some laziness mixed in. So with that as evidence, I know I can only point the finger at myself. Those components that hurt me in highschool, stuck with through the attempt of taking this college level writing class, which have led me to fail. Ha! Then there is this fear of what people, particularly friends, will say or think when they read this post or when I tell them. There will be quite a bit of disappointment for sure.
There's also that question that I ask myself, "Where do I go from here?" I know for certain that the Lord is calling me out to the mission field to go preach to the gospel to the unreached , particularly to the muslims (unless He calls me elsewhere). I had the rough plan of taking a few classes at Crossroads, then Lord-willing go to Moody by the Fall '11 semester. Yet how can I do so if I couldn't even follow through all the way with the english class? How could it be possible that I bust out a semester at Crossroads and go onto Moody if I failed at this english class? I just wouldn't work out. There definitely needs to be a practice of discipline, time management, and the putting off of laziness and selfishness. I know the Lord will bring me to the mission field, but I know I have to do my part and work my tail off! I'm pretty sure that He's not saying, "Just sit back and relax, I'll get you through it." No! I know that He wants me to work like crazy!
As a christian I am to discipline myself in all aspects of the faith, like discipline in holiness, godliness, prayer, reading and studying the scriptures, and evangelism just to name a handful. How much more should I discipline myself with keeping my body healthy, managing my time day by day, and with my education. Discipline in the faith is crucial to the christian. Without, I believe, that there will be little growth, and open doors for sin to sneek in and attack.
So be praying for me my friends, my brothers and sisters; that I will practice discipline in every area of my life, especially in the faith. Also that the Lord will give me guidance and direction on where to go from here.
Thanks for reading. Keep chasing after Christ!
~Joshua A. Taylor