I guess I can spill the beans now, about what was, and well....still is in the works for me. Since...September I've been pursuing the opportunity to spend a year over in Ethiopia doing gospel ministry among Somalis there through PIONNERS missions organization. This past Tues I had submitted my application; moving forward I was looking at a week of orientation in January, assuming that would've gone well, I probably would started raising support in February, then by April would've been heading over to the Horn of Africa. It was all going well two days ago, but....
Yesterday morning woke up around 4:40ish had breakfast, went to work at 6. About 45 minutes in my stomach started to ache, but ignored it and worked through it. A few minutes later though, it got worse added nausea to it. Well....to jump ahead a bit, one of my coworkers came into the break room laying on the floor, but not passed out....but it seemed like I was going to at any moment. One of my managers came in to ask if I wanted my parents to pick me or wanted to go the hospital (even offering to get an ambulance). Knowing my condition, I agreed to be taken to the ER, even though I didn't want it. The choice had to be made. Happy side of the ending is that the blood test, and urine sample, came back good and clear. The not so happy side is that I'll be getting medical bills as a result of this ER visit, and to add, I'm not covered under insurance. This means, that there is a good chance that I won't be able to go over to Ethiopia till 2015. My heart is discouraged for sure.
"I as on a good track, and not I'm postponed, why?", "Certainly the Lord knows that my heart aches for the Somalis, why would he delay me?", "I just don't understand God? Why would allow this?" These are honest heart felt questions that I've asked myself, and the Lord yesterday, and earlier today, but I know His answers, and His answers are found in "Who" He is, not in "Why" He has done what He has done....or better yet, what he has "allowed' to happen yesterday morning. I'm reminded, as if the Lord is saying to me, "I am God, there is no other", "I am good, and do good", "I am faithful and true", "I am the sovereign Lord of all". Ha! I know full well that it's foolish to blame God for the incident yesterday morning, even regardless of the fact that He allowed it. What happened...happened.
So Being reminded of who He is, and the promises that are found in His Word to His people. Promises like:
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28
"...who works all things according to the counsel of his will." ~Ephesians 1:11b
Among many others.
Then my mind goes back now to the character of God. More specifically to His sovereignty over all things. He's sovereign over all nature, all nations, all events that happen in the world (whether triumphant or tragic). He's even sovereign of my life; my life as a whole and every single intricate detail. These things take me to Psalm 139, where we find in verse 16...
"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." ~Psalm 139:11
Yes! Even in this moment my heart is glad and rejoices at this awesome truth! The Lord most high is the Author of all my days, every single one. The one who knows the beginning of my days to the end in this life, orchestrates every one of them for His glory, from the best of my days to the worst. That includes yesterday; Dec. 18 2013, it's events was orchestrated for my good and His glory. So that is why I'm not distraught or am in despair, because I look to Him, cling to Him, knowing full well that He is good and does good!
On another note. Just because my trip to the ER yesterday may postpone my going to Ethiopia to do gospel ministry doesn't mean I'm gonna stop pursuing it. Nope, because my heart still aches for the Somalis! I still aim on going, I just have to have patience, and be faithful with the Gospel in the here & now. When will it be when I go? The fall or winter of next year? Sometime in 2015? Not sure, but the Sovereign Lord knows!